Welcome back, Viperistas and Viperillas. I know it’s been a while since I wrote anything ‘proper’… or even improper. These days I’m more excited by the vee-log and all the simply hilarious shenanigans that literally tens of you enjoy.
The thing with your Viper is that he can’t force these things. If he isn’t inspired to write, he does not write. This is why the Viper is not a professional writer, he’s a house-husband and part-time handyman/gardener/cleaner/assassin.
However, the inspiration has struck most mightily. The muses, those saucy minxes, have turned up and got the Viperish juices flowing. I’m going to do an interview with an actual real-life writer. Not some fictional character that I’ve invented, a real human who earns his honest crust by putting pen to paper and fingertips to keyboard.
Who is this literary titan that has agreed to be pestered with questions by my good self?
He is the best-selling Cavan Scott. If you haven’t heard of him, get back under your rock.
Cavan Scott is a number one best-selling author and comic writer for both adults and children. Let that sink in, plebs. Best-selling. You’re not worthy to touch the hem of his garment. You’re worthy of reading this interview, though.
Cav, as I get to call him, has written for a large number of high-profile series including Doctor Who, Star Wars, Vikings, Adventure Time, Pathfinder, Judge Dredd, Disney Infinity, Blake’s 7 and Warhammer 40,000. He also wrote for Angry Birds, but we all have a history, don’t we? I used to give handjobs for coins, nobody’s perfect.
He is the writer of Titan Comics’ Doctor Who: The Ninth Doctor comic and has written for legendary British comics, The Beano and The Dandy. This is a dude with a RANGE, I tell you.
Cavan was one of the 2016 World Book Day authors, his Star Wars: Adventures in Wild Space – The Escape hitting the Number One spot in the UK book charts. In 2013, Who-ology, co-written with Mark Wright, was the first Doctor Who book to become a Sunday Times Bestseller in the UK. The popular writing team also won the 2014 Scribe Award for Best Audio for Blake’s 7: The Armageddon Storm. If you don’t like audio drama or Blake’s 7, why are you even here, damn you?!
He is currently writing the sequel to Sherlock Holmes: The Patchwork Devil, which is published by Titan Books in Spring 2017. Is this the moment to point out that Cav is basically my hero? If I had an ounce of talent and a heap of moxie, I might dare to DREAM of writing Who and Sherlock. This chap does it for a living. And he’s willing to let me interview him. What a gent.
I also want to mention that he launched the Beeb’s Countryfile magazine. I love Countryfile. I love its magazine. It’s like Vogue with fewer adverts and more sheep.
Anyway. Interview time. I want you to imagine Cavan and myself meeting in a wood panelled room, the smell of pipe smoke perfuming the air as we swirl brandy in our glasses and share war stories. The reality is a bit different, but who cares about reality?
Cav, you’ve written a novel featuring the new companion, Bill. I saw her on Saturday night and loved her. How do you manage writing a novel when she hasn’t been on TV yet? Do you get sneaky previews or some kinda rule book? Share the secret!
Yes, to the sneaky preview. Mike Tucker and I were spirited to Cardiff to watch an early cut of The Pilot in January, plus we received scripts of the first 10 episodes.
I feel a frisson of excited jealousy! How I’d love to get my sweaty hands on scripts before they air (pause to wipe Viperish drool). Right then, standard fan question: Tell us your favourite Doctors. I’ll let you pick two, cos I’m generous like that: one classic, one from the rebooted Eccleston and onwards era.
Tom Baker (which I know is a really obvious choice, but he just is) for the 20th Century and a toss-up between Eccelston and Tennant for 21st Century Who. That’s very indecisive of me isn’t it? I’ve come to love the Ninth from writing him so much over the last few years I guess. He’s such a fascinating character.
Baker was my first, but I love Davison… he was just so gentle. Now, I know that you, like me, are well aware of the wider Whoniverse beyond the TV show. There are comics, novels and audio adventures. Is there any obscure ‘Who’ stuff that you’d like to see hit the TV? You can say your own work if like! I’d just love to know what you’d like to see on teatime telly.
I think above all for teatime telly I want rip-roaring adventures with monsters, heart and a few wry giggles along the way.
I didn’t have to look up Beep, but you got me on Dogbolter. Kudos! What about your own adventures? You get one adventure with the Doctor. Where? When? What will you be running away from?
On the casino planet New Las Vegas in the far future, fighting cybernetic clones of the Rat Pack. Ring-a-ding ding.
You’re a smooth, mofo, you are. I’m picturing Sammy Davis Junior with a ray gun and it’s a picture that I LIKE. You’ve written the Doctor, you’ve written Holmes: any other ‘legacy’ characters you’d like to get your hands on?
Superman and Wonder Woman in a flash. Actually, the Flash too, thinking about it.
I was thinking you’d go for Supergran, but I’m glad you didn’t, I still haven’t pitched my reboot yet. Finally, will you please slip a character called Viper into something one day?
OK, what do you want to be in? Doctor Who, Star Wars, or something new?
Doctor Who by all that’s holy! Do this for me and you’ll have a high position in my new world order. Well, it’s been a sheer delight, for you as well as for me, I would imagine. I should warn you that you’ll be rehashing this interview ‘live’ on “Moments of Excellence” in the near future. This will occur through the magic of Greg doing an impression of you. I say an impression, but he doesn’t do voices, so it’s really just pretending. The audience won’t know. Last episode he pretended to by Scorsese and we didn’t get a single complaint.
So, one and all, that was my first BIG interview. I’m currently working on Gyles Brandreth, but he’s managed to resist thus far, the little tease. All that is left for us to do here is to make a solemn promise to buy everything we can that Cav has ever written. I’m not getting a cut of the profits, honest, I just want him to get a lot of sales. He will become rich beyond his wildest dreams and recommend to all his friends that they have interviews with me and experience the magic of the ‘Viper Touch’. Not that I touched him. I spoke metaphorically there. I wasn’t allowed to touch him. My handlers kept me chained to a gurney. I suppose it’s wise after what happened in my last, unreported interview. Poor Thora Hird. I blame my medication.
Take care of yourselves, read some good books (by Cav) and be sure to tune in to “Moments of Excellence”.