Not sure why, but I'm currently having a shocker. Probably too much caffeine. I'm sitting down to write a blog post and enjoy a coffee (d'oh!). I'll see if it clears. The root problem is an old one: existential dread in the face of a meaningless and indifferent cosmos. I'm just a sentient collection of … Continue reading Terror and Misery and Tinsel!
I think today you deserve some creative non-fiction. I'm going to take you on a journey through my minds as I get my morning jobs done. As some of you will already know, I've got a bit of a wonky brain. There's two current personalities that struggle for control of my personal Helm: Viper is … Continue reading Viper and Hero in “The School Run”
Calm down, calm down. I know it's been a day or two since I posted. Of COURSE I still love you. The Viper is very busy and important. Sometimes he can't get to his lap top, even though you're positively jibbering with desire for more of his dotty ramblings. Fear not, little one, Viper is … Continue reading These are a few of my Viperish things
You again?! We must stop meeting like this. I'm going to have a bloody good moan, so brace yourself. I'm going to moan about something that is very much a first world problem. I'm going to moan anyway. I don't give a single fuck what you think of my ingratitude, my ivory tower or my liberal … Continue reading Poor Mr Privilege
You can't get enough, can you? Back here at my blog, sniffing around like a fox behind some bins. You want some, don't you? You want a blog post, you naughty animal. Well, I'm going to give it to you. Sorry about that intro, it seemed like a good idea eleven seconds ago. Now it … Continue reading My Dainty Monster Feet
It's you again. Oh my, my, my! If I'd known you were coming, I'd have put some clothes on to type this. You're here now, though. Let's press on. I am, in truth, fully clothed. I'm even wearing a second-hand sweater that my mother dug out of her stores. Apparently it belonged to my father. … Continue reading How the Viper Stole Christmas
"But Viper!" you cry. "It isn't Stir Up Sunday yet!" To that I reply, "Get knotted. I'm busy on Sundays, so I'm doing it today. Hush your mouth!" Doing what? Why, boiling Christmas puddings, you wet lettuce. I should explain. I should explain so many things. I like traditions. I like the seasons. I LOVE … Continue reading Stir up!
Edit: I'm writing this introduction after finishing my blog post. I was on a high when I started. I had changed beds, hoovered, washed up, cleaned and done laundry. I started writing in a good mood, planning to write about the daft stuff I do at home. By the time I was finished, I wanted … Continue reading Viperish Ambiance
This is a piece of fiction. I find it either amusing or frightening or both. Please understand that the vile opinions in the piece belong to the character, not to me. The character is meant to be deeply unpleasant. I know I'm dreaming, but it doesn't help. I can't make myself wake up. I … Continue reading Six months in…
I was in the depths somewhat this morning. I'm trying to climb out. I have forced myself to do stuff. There was the daddy stuff and the domestic stuff. Now it's evening and time for daft stuff. I wanted to write a blog post that would balance up this morning's darkness. I've decided to give … Continue reading Stylish Discordant Hero